Betting's for Suckers
by Jan Lee
Summary: SHORT STORY. Betting with Naruto has so many ways of winning and losing that Sasuke can never tell if he should thank Naruto or kill him. Noncanon. Sasuke-centric, Sasu/Saku. Citrus. Requested by SHINOBY12.


**Summary: **[SHORT STORY.] Betting with Naruto has so many ways of winning and losing that Sasuke can never tell if he should thank Naruto or kill him. Noncanon. Sasuke-centric, Sasu/Saku. Citrus.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto. If I did, it would be epic romance and drama all the way.

**Rating: M, **for smuttiness and the usual.

**A/N: **I usually don't take requests, but I thought I'd challenge myself with another attempt at Sasuke/Sakura. If I write Sasuke shoddily, I apologize in advance for any unintentional hilarity that ensues.

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**Betting's for Suckers**

**~ Requested by SHINOBY12 ~**

**Part I: The Bet**

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Sasuke sat at the booth in Ichiraku Ramen, wondering what exactly he was doing there. He'd been minding his own business, coming home from a mission, sort of in neutral, when Naruto, out of nowhere, had steered Sasuke to the place with suspicious determination. Currently, Sasuke had managed all of Naruto's inane small-talk while waiting for his closest friend and best rival to get to the point of this lunch.

"Dude," Naruto said, blue eyes wide over the ramen bowl, "I can't believe you and Sakura haven't…" He completed his sentence with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

Sasuke stared at him evenly, prepared to administer revenge on Naruto's nosing. "Haven't what?"

"I don't want to say it 'cause you might kill me," Naruto answered, seriously. He rubbed the back of his neck. "And you know what I mean. You two haven't…you know…_been together._ Together as in"- -he looked around as though someone would overhear him, though they were alone in the restaurant- -"…in bed."

A flush rose across Naruto's cheeks. Embarrassment. Naruto was embarrassed by talking in euphemisms about sex. Not like we're eighteen years old, stupid, Sasuke thought as he continued his even-handed stare. He stirred up the ramen in the bowl in a very cool, detached manner worthy of an Uchiha.

"How do you know we haven't?"

"Pfft. _Please._ Sakura tells Ino everything, and a pair of shoes gets Ino to tell me all Sakura's secrets," Naruto answered. "So why haven't you two done the deed?"

Sasuke leaned forward. "Since when do you buy Ino _shoes_?"

"Hey, it works for us. And don't change the subject."

"Naruto," Sasuke said, finally, "why does it matter?"

"You kidding me? It matters 'cause you guys have been going out, like, forever, and _why haven't you_?" Naruto huffed. "It doesn't make sense."

"It makes perfect sense. She's not comfortable about it and she'll let me know when she's ready."

Naruto waved his chopsticks carelessly. "You know, she's only waiting for _you _to take charge. I bet you," he said, with slow emphasis, "that if you start it, she'll warm up for you."

"I don't think I'll take sex advice from you, my friend, when you have yet to handle the Hinata-situation and _that _was two or so years ago," Sasuke replied. He tapped his finger on the table. "She'll say no and pound me into the ground besides."

"You're forgetting who her favorite punching bag is," Naruto said. He slurped down the rest of his ramen and dragged the back of his hand over his mouth. "Seriously though. I'm laying down a bet, here. Fifty bucks says that Sakura'll sleep with you if you instigate it."

"This is stupid. _You're _stupid. I'm not betting on whether I make it with Sakura or not."

Naruto laughed in a way Sasuke didn't like at all. "You're afraid of losing. You call _me _stupid. You're just a wimp."

Exasperated, Sasuke said, "Where is this all coming from anyway? Why the sudden interest in _our _sex life?"

"I dunno. Maybe I like stirring things up a bit. Are you taking the bet or are you wimping out?"

Sasuke stared at Naruto; Naruto stared back. This went on as Sasuke calculated his plan based against Naruto's obvious manipulation and what Sasuke should do for the privacy of his relationship. He'd been waiting and wanting Sakura for so long it ached inside him, but he didn't think pushing her would benefit their relationship, so he didn't. Sakura seemed happy and she never seemed displeased with their kissing and light touching; but, what if she'd been holding back on his account? What a Sakura-type thing to do. His competitive spirit believed that, like other kunoichi, Sakura was capable of withholding her true feelings to test his and maybe, she had been.

And besides, he'd do anything to get one-up on Naruto. "Fine. Name your terms."

Naruto's grin was indecent. "You have forty-eight hours to bed Sakura, and I wanna see proof of it. Fifty bucks goes to the winner. Which will be _me, _sucker_._"

"You know I could sneak into her bedroom and steal a pair of panties or whatever," Sasuke said and a hot wave rose under his skin. Sakura's bedroom. Her underwear. Hell, yes. Really, he thought, there wasn't any _bad _part of Naruto's bet. A win-win, if ever there was such a thing. Except if Naruto won, he'd swagger around lording over Sasuke forever.

"Don't you worry your chicken-butt head. I have a plan for that. Are these terms acceptable?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Accepted."

"Heh, heh, excellent. We'll meet here again, at this time, in forty-eight hours."

Sasuke nodded as Naruto stood and sauntered out, ducking his head under the low doorway. For awhile, Sasuke sat, his hands folded under his chin, staring into the middle distance. Thinking. He knew Naruto had something planned. The whole bet smelled fishy in a way Sasuke couldn't put his finger on. And Naruto was never _that _clever. His first mistake had been mentioning Yamanaka Ino and her big, shoe-horning mouth. Perhaps she could provide some insight on this sudden bet of Naruto's.

Decided, Sasuke left the restaurant and walked through the village to Yamanaka Flowers. He deliberately took his time, knowing that if Ino was working, she would be working to close, and he wanted her free for his proposition. Konoha was winding down in the late afternoon, and pedestrian traffic thinned as people went home for dinner and closed up shop. As he wanted, he arrived at Yamanaka Flowers right as the brilliantly blonde Ino shut and locked the front door to the shop.

"Good evening, Ino. May I speak with you a moment?" he asked, drawing to a stop beside her.

Ino glanced up, tucking her long bangs behind her ear. He tensed, expecting an ear-splitting squeal. None came, and instead, her mouth quirked. "Why, Sasuke. What an unexpected surprise. You may have your moment."

She was being extremely formal. Extremely…reasonable. Hm. He followed a step behind her as she turned to walk down the street. "What's your price?"

"_What_?" She whipped her head around, the ponytail flipping comically, and glared at him. "You wanna say that again, Sasuke-dear?"

"Not like that, woman. Naruto is up to his hairline in scheming and I want to know what it is," Sasuke said. "So what's your price for giving me information?"

She had herself a good laugh. "The great Uchiha Sasuke comes groveling on his knees for whatever it is that poor Yamanaka Ino knows. This day should go down in the annals of history."

"I'm not groveling," he told her as they rounded a corner. He couldn't believe what he was about to say. "And do you want a new pair of shoes or not?"

Ino tilted her head and again laughed in her throat. "Shoes will not do for the juicy bit of information I have. Come with me. The Shop should be open by now."

"What shop?" Sasuke asked, but Ino shook her head.

"_The _Shop. That's the name of it. The Shop," she explained.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and walked beside her. Together, without talking as Sasuke was sure he'd be hearing enough of Ino's voice in a few minutes and wanted to minimize exposure to her shrillness, they strolled closer to the center of the village to a street that was lit up with blinking neon lights and was crackling with energy from pounding dance music. His stomach sunk to the proximity of his toes, but Ino gestured him to the side. They were in front of a dingy, shadowed store front, a buzzing pink sign indicating the store was open. All the windows had been painted over in black, and Sasuke could not see what merchandise The Shop stocked.

"Wait here for a moment," she said, and she entered the store with a jangle. How quaint. Bells on the dilapidated door of what was probably a porn warehouse.

A few minutes elapsed as Sasuke watched people line up to enter the bars or dance clubs. He hypothesized why people enjoyed such environments, how much per year was spent on drinks and cover fees, and whether the hangovers were worth it. From what he heard…not especially. And why would anyone want to have the horror of waking up next to some random barfly with lip hair and a mysterious burning sensation on private parts?

Another jangle. Ino flounced up next to him. "Okay. Here you go. Thirty dollars, please."

Sasuke saw a gift-wrapped package in her hand. The box was the size for clothes, and the wrapping paper was black? Or at least, it was a dark color and a bright pink bow adorned the broad face of the package. He narrowed his eyes to express his dubiousness, but nonetheless reached for his wallet.

"What did I just buy, Ino?"

She dismissed his question with a wave of her hand. "I'll give this to you free of charge on one condition." He stopped pulling out cash and she continued. "You have to give this to Sakura when you see her without attempting to peek inside and no questions asked. Otherwise, fork over the dough and I personally deliver it to her anyway."

He considered a moment and decided he could do without knowing what was inside the package, but hedged a guess that it was lingerie. "I'll give it to her. Now tell me what you know about Naruto's scheme."

"You're going to love this," she said, handing him the package as she began walking away from the people-inundated street. "So Sakura and I were getting our nails done on one of our days off and I ask her how her relationship with _you _is going. She sort of sighs before telling me everything is 'Fine.' Now if you know Sakura," Ino said, glancing at him, "you'd know that 'Fine' paired with a heavy sigh is a nice way of saying 'Something's wrong.'"

"The point?"

"I'm getting there, Mr. Impatient-pants. The good friend that I am, I ask her what's wrong. She says that you two haven't gotten to the next stage of the relationship and she's wondering if _you _think there's something wrong with _her._ She doesn't want you to feel like she's clinging to you and she also feels like there might be something wrong with her looks or whatever. Anyway, she was afraid of expressing her feelings to you in fear of making you feel like you were inadequate or that it was your fault in some way."

Sasuke rubbed his forehead with a couple fingers. "Let me guess the rest. Naruto invited you out for shoe-shopping and you spilled this secret, and now he wants to resolve the conflict."

"You got it," she said. "If you asked Sakura about it, she'd deny everything and you'd be left misunderstanding her feelings. This way, you'll have a clear answer."

"I don't see how Naruto figured betting me would help. He could've just explained things."

Ino laughed. "I think he wants to watch you squirm between winning out of spite or losing on purpose."

"He's such a loser," but Sasuke couldn't eradicate the very real affection he heard in his own voice.

A silent moment stretched, and Sasuke looked at Ino, who stared off in the distance. He followed her gaze. The street they walked down was shaded in quiet evening shadows with the music of crickets. In the dim light of the street lanterns, Sasuke saw a tall figure moving up the street towards them with a shorter, definitely white and polar bear-sized creature at the figure's hip.

"But a loser who's your best friend and who also cares about Sakura," Ino replied, finally. "This is where we part ways, Sasuke."

"Oy, Ino! Sasuke!" The figure was male, waved, and stepped directly under a light. Inuzuka Kiba and Akamaru. They came closer, within speaking distance, and Kiba said to Sasuke, with a smirk, "I don't have to kill you, do I?"

Before Sasuke had a chance to decide if Kiba was being sardonic or honest, Ino turned to him. "Good luck with the bet. Have a pleasant evening."

Sasuke felt Kiba's eyes on him, but Ino broke the stare by flinging her arms around Kiba's neck and leaning up. She said something too low for Sasuke to hear that made Kiba chuckle, and before he could witness what he knew was coming next, he turned his back and headed for home. His abode was in a quieter part of the village, set back from the street with a big border of hedgerow for privacy's sake. The house was small, single-level, with one bedroom, one bathroom, open kitchen, dining room and living areas. Perfect for a private-minded individual.

He opened the front gate and noticed lights on in his house. Oh. Shit. Sakura must be in- -he _had _given her a key- -and he had in his hand a gift-wrapped box that more than likely contained kinky lingerie. Okay. He had to know where she was in the house and enter through the opposite door…or window. But before he could move, the front door flung open to an agitated Sakura. She must've been waiting for him.

"Uchiha Sasuke! Dinner's been ready for an _hour_. Move your ass," she said, pointing a spatula at him. Her eyes flicked to his arm, holding the package hidden behind his back, and a slow smile curled her lips as she made the logical conclusion. She switched from bitch to gooey in two seconds flat. "Oooh, _Sasuke._ You bought me a gift?"

Play it cool. "Why would I buy _you _anything? You're out here threatening me with a spatula."

"It's only 'cause I love you." Her voice had turned to syrup. "Aren't you coming in? And hiding it behind your back makes you look more suspicious."

His brain scrambled for stalling material as he withdrew the package from its hiding place and held it up. "I don't think you'll want it, though. Ino got it for you."

"Ino did?"

"Yes," he said, noticing how her brow crunched in annoyance, and he secretly sighed in relief. "She said this might suit your forehead. I have no idea what you did, but Ino looked lethal when she handed me this."

He stepped up the front stoop and kissed Sakura gently on the mouth. Her lips were soft and tasted of strawberry like she'd been sneaking them out his fridge, and he could tell she'd been working in the hospital due to the lingering surgical-soap smell. She allowed him to brush past her without a lunge at the package in his hand, so he assumed she'd lost interest in it.

"Hurry and wash up," she said as he moved toward the back bedroom, "I'm ready to eat."

He said, "Sure," and walked to the back of the house to de-weapon himself and wash his hands, setting the box on the bed when he passed by. After digging the grime from under his nails, he sat on the bed and contemplated the box, shaking and weighing it. The box didn't tell its secret.

"_Sasuke! Are you coming?_" came Sakura's voice from the dining room area. A twinge of irritation, there. He'd better go.

For lack of a better hiding place, he slide the box under his bed and met Sakura at the small, cozy dining table that he'd positioned outside the kitchen. Sakura had loaded his plate for him and came out with hers. She sat, and together, they ate and chatted about her day and his mission. Sasuke didn't mention Naruto's bet, but he thought of it when Sakura smiled wholesomely at him or when those coral-green eyes flicked to his face. Did she want to sleep with him?

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly, "excuse me. I gotta use the bathroom!" She was up and back to his bedroom in a flash.

To help her, Sasuke took the dishes into the kitchen, scraped them clean, and loaded them into the dishwasher. Then he went to the living room to settle into the couch, wondering how long Sakura planned on staying. She'd probably want to head home before it got too late, as she would more than likely have rounds at the hospital or training with Naruto to participate in and each of those started early.

It was then he realized that Sakura was taking an _awfully _long time in the bathroom. He got off the couch and went to the back room, where he found the bathroom door closed. Politely, he knocked.

"Sakura? Is everything all right?"

A couple small footsteps creaked floorboards as she stepped around, and he heard the rustle of cloth. "Yes, everything's fine!" Her voice was unusually high. "I'll, ah, I'm good. Could you wait a second?"

If he didn't know better, he'd say she was the one who acted suspicious. And the wheels in his brain cranked forward. What if…? Nah. Sakura wasn't a snooper, not that he could tell, because she respected his privacy. But would she…? His trained eye examined his bed, but didn't discern anything out of the ordinary. Still, he stepped over and groped under the bed for the package, but it wasn't there. Then the door creaked open, freezing him in place, cheek to cotton comforter.

Sakura's voice was quiet and held a note of shyness he hadn't heard from her in a very long time. "So, Sasuke. What do you think?"

Oh, no. No, no, no, _no_. Slowly he turned his head to look over his shoulder, both dreading and anticipating what he knew he'd see. Shit. Yes. God, _yes._ Sakura stood in the doorframe to the bathroom, the light glowing behind her, and she was wearing _leather._ Lots of leather, but not so much that there wasn't ample cleavage and peachy skin showing. It was all a shiny black, with black stain ties, and mesh, and zippers. And then boots. Knee-high, strappy, four-inch heels. Fishnet. Ruby-red, I'm-seducing-you lipstick. Thick mascara and eyeliner that popped her green eyes.

He probably stared at her for a good two minutes with his jaw hanging open before he uttered, "Sa-sakura?" Most of his blood shot to his groin; never before had his balls ached so phenomenally.

Her eyes narrowed- -who on this planet had taught her his specialty Seductive Eye Narrow?- -and she stretched her arms up to lean with languid ease on the doorjamb. Fishnet was taut over her toned arms. All his air caught up in top of his lungs as he studied her. She played a contradiction in his mind: the buxom badass and the innocent virgin. The contradiction was so sexy that his legs turned watery and he crawled to sit on the edge of the bed. He couldn't stop staring at, well, _all _of her.

"You should see your face," she said, with a giggle, and he noticed that her panties were a mix-up of mesh, leather, and satin. He wanted them off. "I think you like it."

"Gah," he answered.

She _bit _her lower lip. "Hmmm. Does that mean you approve?"

He flailed mentally for an adequate response that would _not _include him drooling or stuttering in a completely flustered, uncool, un-Uchiha manner, so he settled for nodding numbly with his jaw clenched tight. Sakura slinked- -_slinked_!- -across the room and put her hand gently on his shoulder to lean and flash legendary cleavage- -Miss Double-A with cleavage!- -to smile winningly at him. She smelled fantastic enough to eat, like a buffet of sweet desserts, and though Sasuke didn't usually like sweets, he'd love to make himself sick feasting on Sakura.

But for as much of him that wanted to peel away all that leather and find where that scent was the strongest, to run his hands over the textural difference of the leather, satin, fishnet, and flesh, there was a piece of him that hesitated, looking at the whole picture. The buxom badass image…was it really Sakura? If she was giving herself to him, he wanted it to be _her_, not some sexy alter-ego she deemed necessary to have sex. He'd paused too long. Sakura's hands made contact with his chest and he sprawled on the bed from the power of her push.

"Sakura?" He couldn't help his voice from squeaking her name as she crawled across the bed and straddled him. His brain spluttered over cleavage-lips-boots-fishnet-leather. He tried again to speak, but managed, "Um. _Oof!_"

She pinned his shoulders. Struggle was pointless as chakra hummed under her skin. Her eyes were still narrowed sexily; she leaned forward and brushed her lips along his. Flavored lipgloss- -cherry.

"Have you been a bad boy, Sssss-ah-sss-_kay_? I think you have been. Should I…_spank_ you?" And you know when pet-owners are speaking to their dogs, how they use a special voice that's completely abnormal and reserved for expressing how cute the dog is? _That's _the voice Sakura used on him when she said, "Do you wanna spanking you naughty boy you?"

And that did it. He snorted, then wheezed, then huffed- -_keep it in, keep it in, keep it in- -_but to no avail. A spanking? You naughty boy you? Should he bark in reply…_ruff, ruff, _yes, ma'am? Finally he keened with laughter. Was she going to leash him next and take him for a walk? His sides convulsed with it, lungs dragging in precious air as tears sprang to his eyes, and he flat-out roared in laughter, even as Sakura pouted and dismounted him.

"What'd I do wrong?" she asked, and he heard the sad little quiver in her question.

Even though he continued shuddering with violent laughter, he saw glassiness to her eyes. He knew she was going to cry, wanted to prevent it but couldn't with the absurdity of the situation, and he got that he was screwed (figuratively, not literally) when she flung herself off the bed and slammed the bathroom door shut behind her.

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**A/N:** Had to make this one a two-parter, folks. I haven't written Part II yet, but it's on my to-do list. My reccommendation is to Story Alert if you're interested in the up-coming bedroom romp. SHINOBY12, I hope you enjoyed it so far, and I'm sorry for the long wait. =)


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